my husband has cancer

Today is a better day. I slept pretty well. Had a nice conversation with my dad last night. I sure am blessed to have such an awesome dad and sister. I don't know what I would do with out my family. Sometimes you just need to talk. Not have someone tell you it's ok or even talk at all...sometimes you just need to talk and know someone is listening or at least acting like they are listening just so you can vent and cry or whatever it is I need to do at the moment. I think I am just getting more worried and scared the closer we get to Thursday. Last night I had a dream that I had cancer and the kids were going to be left all alone. I guess that is just anxiety. It's hard to imagine what is going through Tony's mind. For those of you that know him, you know he is not a very vocal person. He doesn't express emotions very well at all so I have no idea what is going through his mind except he has mentioned that he is worried. That is all I get from him except he has stated that he needs me to stay strong and not to break down on him. No pressure!! I love my husband so very much and just the though of him being sick worries me. He is NEVER sick and to know that he seems fine right now but has cancer is still just shocking. You would expect him to have some sort of symptoms but there was no sign at all. I know that is how cancer usually is but when it is in your own home, you want to believe that there would be a sign or symptom of some sort. A fever or anything...NOPE, he still gets up and goes to work, he still holds baseball practice or works out with T-bone on baseball....seems like normal except....my husband has cancer.