I have to say there have been good days and bad days since we have found out about Tony's cancer. For the most part, mine have been getting better. The kids however...they seem to be getting worse. As a mom, I would love to be able to crawl inside their mind and find out what they are thinking and I would love to be able to look into their heart and see how they are feeling. I do know that they need to be able to talk about all of this but I can't make them talk. I can't make them open up to me. For those of us with boys, you will understand what I am talking about. I feel as if my boys are trying to stay strong for me, to protect me. This is especially true for my older boys. I don't go around talking about Tony's cancer, I keep the boys on their schedule as much as possible yet I see a change in them. Tristan who has been doing so well in school...all of a sudden is forgetting his homework and not turning his papers in. Kade who is usually so methodical, forgot to take his titanium sports necklace of before swimming and it was stolen. Connor...well, he hasn't changed all that much! I do have to say that as brothers, they are getting along so much better. There is no arguing at bedtime anymore, and they give extra hugs throughout the day to me and their dad. My continued prayers need to include the boys more and to give me peace, wisdom and guidance dealing with this situation. I need to remember to pray for the whole family and not just Tony.

My God and my family are everything to me...anything else isn't really that important. Cancer makes you put things in perspective. I am very thankful for that.